Round-Up Of Ridiculosity

The Pathetically Petty Payback Mentality of the Pretend President.  Timed for maximum inconvenience, the Baby-In-Chief waited until the last minute to cancel a trip of Nancy Pelosi's bipartisan Congressional delegation scheduled to depart this afternoon for Belgium, Egypt and Afghanistan.  Just as she controls access to the House of Representatives, he controls access to government aircraft.  So he wrote her a note telling her she couldn't use government planes until the "Shutdown"* was over, but could fly commercial instead.  Of course, the Man-Baby had used a government aircraft when he visited troops in Iraq during the shutdown, but somehow that was different.  At age 72, he's still just a spoiled brat, a juvenile jerk.
(*His brief 132-word note contained 8 instances of unnecessary and grammatically incorrect capitalization, e.g. "Strong Border Security." 😖)

Real Food Heroes.  tRump hosted the national champion Clemson football team at the White House for a celebratory meal of non-nutritional, cold, greasy fast food.  He tweet-bragged about personally paying for "hundreds of hamberders."  A low-class embarrassment, like everything else he does. But some real food heroes stepped up with much better offers of real food:  Michael Strahan will feed them lobster and caviar.  Nick Kokonas, owner of Alinea, a 3-star Chicago restaurant, invited them to the Windy City for a gourmet $200-a-plate dinner.  Ayesha Curry, chef of International Smoke, invited them to her restaurant for a "real feast with no ten-cent dipping sauces."  Even Quavo of the Migos offered to feed them and show them "how champs are supposed to be treated.  Y'all welcome to come by anytime."  In the near future, it looks like nobody will be eating better than the Clemson football players.  And hamberders won't be on the menu.

The Other Confirmation Hearing.  Andrew Wheeler, the acting EPA chief and former coal lobbyist, is finally getting a hearing to be confirmed as the real-deal administrator.  I'm ashamed to admit that Wheeler is a native Ohioan.  He may not have the unethical stench of his predecessor Scott Pruitt, but he has the same ideological desire to destroy anti-pollution regulations and protect the fossil fuel industry.  When asked, Wheeler said climate change was not a "crisis," but merely an "issue" that must addressed "globally."  Translation:  Until the rest of the world cleans up, we'll do nothing and will allow American business the continuing opportunity to pollute for profit.

Parochial School Fool.  Karen Pence, wife of VP Holy Mike Pence, will return as an elementary level art teacher at Immanuel Christian in Virginia.  The school is adamantly anti-LGBT, literally prohibiting the presence of any LGBT students, parents or staff, and requiring a "biblical lifestyle."*
How is this blatant bigotry allowed?  Immanuel Christian is a private school.  You pay tuition for the religious freedom privilege of having your child taught that gay people are dangerous and hell-bound.  With the news of the VP's wife joining the faculty of this hotbed of homophobia, activists are sending 100 copies of John Oliver's A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo to the school.  It's a children's book about a boy bunny who loves another boy bunny -- just the thing to make a Pence tense.

(*If you're truly living the "biblical lifestyle," you live in a small village of small, mudbrick houses with no safe drinking water and no plumbing at all.  Your meals consist mainly of bread.  There are open latrines, and dirt and dust everywhere, along with slavery, crucifixions, and the stoning of non-virginal women.  With such a lifestyle, you might just wanna kick off your sandals and get carnal with the cutest goat in the herd.  That's biblical as hell!)