Can My Own American Job Be "Saved"?

As you may know, your humble correspondent, Buster Gammons, is a small business owner.  You can't get any smaller -- I'm the one and only employee of my auto aftermarket products company.  It's minuscule, but it's a job.

In keeping with recent business trends, as the owner I conducted a thorough review of the company from top to bottom, and I concluded that my operating costs were too high.  My only alternative is to close up shop and relocate myself to Mexico, where my cost of labor will be less and my cost of benefits will be zero.

It made me sad when I had to announce this to myself, and as a loyal employee I was shocked and bitterly disappointed by my news to myself.  But business is business, and what are ya gonna do?

But then I heard that Agent Orange, the-thing-that-will-be-president, is going around the country picking winners and saving jobs.  I heard he made Indiana give Carrier Corp. $7 million so they'd keep a plant open in Indianapolis, instead of moving it to Mexico.

I'm encouraged and I'd like him to know that for $7 million, my job can be saved too!  When do I get my money?